The Psychiatrist's Patient

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"Doctor, the only reason I work is so I can afford to tell you
 how much I hate my job."

"But Andy, your success as a political consultant
 affords you pleasures most people can only
 dream about."

"Their dreams are my nightmares and..."

"Instead of nightmares, I want to discuss
  the poem you snail-mailed me."

"Shit! You read it already?"

"You knew I would. Stop pretending."

"Yes, Dr. Freed."

 DOCTOR HANDS PATIENT THE POEM

"Today, instead of an abstract discussion
  about the dream/nightmare dichotomy,
  we can get very specific.
  Recite it, please."

"I do not believe a word they say
  But I will listen to their stories
  Every night and day   
  As long as they know
  I am not going away."


"Who is they?"

"My brothers and sisters in New Jersey."

"What do you not believe?"

"Everything they say regarding Julia's death
 and her estate."

"Julia is the Aunt who became your guardian?"

"Yes. She inherited five children when our parents died."

"Didn't you tell me that you flew 20,000 miles
 to get her neighboring relatives
 to visit her in the hospice?"

"Yes. Four flights to New Jersey to organize
  family reunions amongst siblings
  who otherwise would never
  be caught in the same room."

"But why do you listen to their stories?"

"Because no one in California knows about this:
  Every day...Aunt Julia would take little Andy
  to the library. It stopped when she caught me
  stealing a book."

"What book was it?"

"It depends on which brother or sister you ask
 and I'll be damned if I remember. But
 the point is I lust for stories about
 growing up in Princeton."

"How old were you when your parents died?"

"Nine. Maria–the youngest–was two."

"Why didn't you attend Julia's funeral?"

"Because I was afraid of how I'd react
 in front of my siblings: my ego might
 have gone elephantine or I could
 have drowned in my tears."

"And your ego is what you meant by
  As long as they know  
  I am not going away."

"WOW! That is the other reason
  I am here three days a week."

"Hold the sarcasm, Andy."

"I apologize, Dr. Freed."

"Apology accepted only if
  the next five sessions are focused exclusively
  on the responses you gave me today.
  See you tomorrow."

"But Doctor, I didn't hear the timer yet."

"You will not hear Rama Lama Ding Dong again
  until after the fifth session."

        






The Doctor:
 
A. FREED

The Patient:

A. NONEMUS






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Footnotes
THE PSYCHIATRIST'S PATIENT is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

Please accept my apology for the absence of hyperlinks on this page.
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