Wednesday, April 30, 2014

What The Hell Is He Talking About?

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As a human being it hurt. Most things in life,
you can compartmentalize, but this was
everywhere, we couldn't shake it.

I've known the man who said that since the days when he had teammates 
named Moochie, Maurice, Malik and Bruno.

That was almost ten years ago when victories for his team 
happened on a weekly basis.

That would have been great news if Jamal Crawford 
was a professional football player. 

Football teams play only once a week but for every New York Knick victory 
that Crawford was a part of, there were two defeats alongside of it.

But  Jamal Crawford is a professional basketball player.


  




















In 2014, he has teammates named  Paul, Blake, and De Andre. 
The man who signs his multi-million dollar paycheck is Sterling 
but his name might as well be Mud. 

Donald Sterling is an eighty year-old billionaire. He owns (or owned)
more real estate in Beverly Hills than any other human on earth.

Donald Sterling also owns the Los Angeles Clippers,
the team Jamal Crawford plays for.

The octogenarian has owned the team for thirty-three years.
No individual has owned a professional American 
basketball team longer than Donald Sterling
has owned the Los Angeles Clippers.

This year, the eighty year-old man is paying a team salary of $73 million.
There re only twelve players on the team. Nine and one-half of them 
are African-American. Two and one half  of them are Caucasian. 

The current salaries of  the two best players–Chris Paul and Blake Griffin–
total more than $35 million.

Dating back more than two centuries,  the total salaries 
of every President of the United States is less than
$35 million.

Thomas Jefferson notwithstanding, if any of those presidents had 
half the intelligence of Chris Paul, the United States would be 
thoroughly loved by every other nation on earth.

Blake Griffin is a one man highlight reel and is capable of making
people say "Who was Kobe Bryant?"

If I were gay, I would have posters of Blake Griffin over my bed.*

Like the current President of the United States, Mr. Griffin is half-Caucasian. 

Judging by the quality of Blake Griffin's Kia commercials,
I think he could help President Obama with a truly effective
national education policy. 

Chris Paul looks like one of the nicest people you could ever meet
but, on the basketball court, there is no greater thief.
No one is better at stealing the ball from the enemy team.

Griffin and Paul are worth every penny the eighty year-old man pays them.

However, a recent conversation of Mr. Sterling's was tape-recorded
without his permission. 

Whoever recorded the eighty year-old man commit a crime in the process.    






















In that conversation, Donald Sterling  said things that were 
the cultural equivalent of an earthquake devastating 
everything between Los Angeles and New York.

Compared to Blake Griffin and Chris Paul, Jamal Crawford
is paid chicken feed.

His salary for the current season is a shade more than $5 million.

In 2001, his first year in the NBA, Crawford played for the Chicago Bulls.
The team won fifteen games for the entire season, which lasts five months.

In 2012, his first season with the Los Angeles Clippers, Jamal's team 
won sixteen games in the month of December. 

In his second season with the team, I am hoping and hoping and hoping
that the Los Angeles Clippers win just four games in June
against  Lebron James and the Miami Heat.

Because of what came out of the  mouth of Donald Sterling in that
taped conversation between an eighty-year-old billionaire
and his super-hot thirty year-old lover, virtually all
professional basketball fans are hoping for
the same thing .

LET'S GO, CLIPPERS...

WE ARE ONE!!!!
 
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Footnotes
The poster over my bed is a life-size portrait of my eighty-one year-old Grandfather.

He says the craziest things, some of which cannot be repeated in mixed company.
But all we do is laugh.

Grandpa is a big Clipper fan.
His favorite Clipper is Joe Dimaggio, the Hall of Fame Yankee Clipper.

My octogenarian Grandfather swears that Chris Paul
is Joe Dimaggio's nephew.
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4 comments:

  1. Super-hot plastic surgery, "lover" wire included.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Lover did OK by the eighty year-old dude but, in total,
      she got about the same as Jamal Crawford.

      I would, however, put a poster of her over my bed.
      Grandpa would swear that it is Grandma!

      Delete
  2. Footnote is asterisky******

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can say that only because you did not know Grandpa.

      Delete