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THE DATE
November 2, 1999, a day of otherwise inconsequential state and local elections.
THE PLACE
Underground Lewis Carroll Saloon in Piscataway, New Jersey.
THE EVENT
Great Americans' Checkers Tournament
THE CONTESTANTS
Parkenzheimer Twins, Muhammed Ali & Ronald Reagan.
THE SPONSORS
Parkinson & Alzheimers Research Foundations
THE GAME
A checkerboard was set up in a boxing ring.
Ali wore gray trunks. Reagan wore white.
The tournament lasted one month.
The tournament lasted one game.
Napping was allowed between moves.
When Ronald Reagan nodded off during play,
twice he knocked the board over.
Both times all the pieces had to be replaced
and sanitized by the Secret Service.
While Ali slept, he dreamt of tickling
George Forman in a Social Security Office.
THE MASCOT
Checkers, the Presidential dog.
Richard Nixon challenged
the winner of the tournament
but no one would allow him
to play because everyone knew
Richard Nixon–posthumously–
would get caught cheating.
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Footnote
1999 MUHAMMED ALI vs RONALD REAGAN TITLE BOUT
is the copyrighted property of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic,
located in Piscataway, NJ.
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