Quoting Eddie Izzard And Praising Derek Jeter

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I think the whole world should be a melting pot

Craig Ferguson, Kristen Bell & Eddie Izzard

Craig Ferguson spent
a week video-taping
his  Late Late Show
in Paris.

Craig, Kristen & Eddie
walked leisurely through
a Parisian bazaar.

Eddie Izzard is an actor,
writer,  transvestite, and
a brilliant British comedian.



Craig Ferguson is from Scotland and, with the sometime exception of David Letterman,
he is the funniest host of the late night talk shows. That is a false claim if and only if
you have no appreciation for a thing called "absurd comedy."

Kristen Bell, born and raised in Michigan, is wearing a French beret.
She is looking admiringly at a man who was born in an Arabic country.
That man is Eddie Izzard, who is quoted at the top of this page.

I  agree with the  Izzard's modern melting pot theory...but will go one better.

I believe that the mixing of the races should be mandated.
Mixed-race offspring improves the chances of their being
a lot more Derek Jeters in this world.

Mother, Daughter, Son, & Father Jeter

Maybe you do
not recognize
Derek Jeter
in civvies.

Below, you will see
a photograph of him
in his work clothes.

But he is retiring
from his job
in October.




In New York, where digging up dirt

Derek "The Captain" Jeter

  on professional athletes is
  a  journalist's dream-come-true,
  the only dirt they could find
  on Derek was on his uniform.

 Derek Jeter is a...
  5-time World Champion,
  14-time All-Star and
 #6 All-time in total
   base hits.

  (By the time you read this,
   only 5 out of 500,000
   professional baseball
   players–dating back
   more than 120 years–
   have had more base hits.)

   Non-sports fans need not know
   what "base hits" are...Just imagine
   being smarter than 499, 994
   out of 500,000 people.





And for Twenty Years....
Derek Jeter has been a New York Yankee...
without one molecule of controversy or public misbehavior.

For five of those years, the Yankees won the World Series.

The average player, over a twenty year career, wins .285714 World Series.
But Derek Jeter has five World Series rings, or seventeen times as many as
John Q. Major Leaguer, assuming John Q. is good enough
to play the game for twenty years.

The opposite of "controversy and public misbehavior" is
utterly pure accomplishment and talent up the wazoo.

Derek Jeter has a white mother and a black father.

If mixed race babies become the norm, true heroes
like Derek Jeter will have a lot of competition.

And dirt-digging journalists will end up on the unemployment line.

The dirt diggers, however, did succeed in besmirching
another mega-talented athlete whose father is black
and whose mother is Asian.

The dirt-digging diablos of the media succeeded in convincing
millions of people to believe  Tiger Woods was the first person
ever to  commit adultery.

Then there is the man credited with being
the first black President of the United States.
Nonsense!

Barack Obama had a white mother and a black father.
He is the first whack President of the United States.

...

If all the tribal X-people hated all the Y-people...
and the only other thing they had in common
was murdering each other,

Then what would happen if...
it became a law that a member of the X-tribe
could only procreate with a member
of the Y-tribe (and vice versa)

???

Their XY-ed offspring would genetically
be forced to understand how the other tribe
thinks and acts. That is,  they would understand
both halves of their own brains and their own brawn.

Inevitably, they would have to live in peaceful harmony
with themselves and with each other.  

Hate and murder would end up on the unemployment line.
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