She Said...He Said...(He/She #38) ©

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"We get a Thanksgiving invitation from an art professor
   known all over the world and you said NO?"

"Honey, you know I can't eat in front of people I do not know."

"No, I didn't know that. And don't call me 'Honey'
  when you sting me like a bee. Professor Dayton
  is the closest thing on campus to God!"

"Well then, here is why I declined the invitation..."

"I guess I have no choice but to listen to you."

"No. You don't have to listen at all.
  I just need to say it."

"To say what?"

"If I am dining with more than three people in a room
  my third eye looks across the table and wants to say
  Linda, if you aim that spoonful of mashed potatoes 
  at me, I will kill you."

"What?"

"Exactly. I am no longer ten years old and there is no Linda at the table.
 It means my father isn't sitting at the table and my mother
 didn't cook the meal. I can only eat mashed potatoes
 if I can lick them off my shirt."

"Didn't Linda die in 1974?"

"No, 1975: four years after her parents died."

"Her parents?"

"Well, she is still with them. I only had them  for 20 years.
  Careful, Linda is probably looking at us right this minute."

"Oh shit. Do I need to get a mashed potato protector?"

"Only if you still feel stung like a bee."

"About what? Some uppity Art professor invited us
  to kowtow at his table for Thanksgiving? I'd rather
  go to Denny's and eat their holiday slop."

"I got a better idea: why don't we find pictures of turkeys.
 We'll stick them in our pockets on Thanksgiving and walk
 five miles out to the jetty."

"It's a date, honey."
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