Monday, November 10, 2014

Next Month Will Be His 2014th Birthday

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  If, during his thirty-two years on earth, Jesus Christ had copyrighted (or trademarked) his name–
  today–he would have enough money to make Bill Gates look like a window-washer.

 But there were no copyright laws in biblical times. However, then as now,
 there was no shortage of entrepreneurs.

 Mr. Sidney was one of them. He owned and operated Chariot Carnival Cruises.

 Mr. Sidney understood the historical importance of the crucifiction of Jesus Christ.
 He successfully marketed a cruise to witness the event.

 Gunter Schmash, a carpenter from Saxony, signed up for the cruise.

 The Deluxe Crucifiction tour featured a preview of the lumber and tools
 to be used in the execution of Jesus Christ.

 The lumber manufacturer agreed with Gunter that the cross would have been
 more stable if made from mahogany rather than olivewood but mahogany
 was scarce and expensive. The Crucifiction, however, was a low-budget
 production and olivewood was both plentiful and biblical.

 Gunter suggested to Mr. Sidney that, free of charge, he would sharpen
 the nails that were to pierce the palms of Jesus.

"Just get me a rock, Sid, that's all I need."
"Never mind, Gunter. They do not want too much blood.  
 They have no budget for a clean-up crew.
 They don't even have lighting for the event."

 Neither Gunter Schmash nor Mr. Sidney are recognized by conventional Bibles
 but Gunter returned home in the year 33AD and became a Founding Father
 of a country called Germany.

 Nearly one hundred generations later, a descendent of Gunter Schmash was standing
 forlorn outside the shuttered remains of the Auschwitz Labor Camp.

 Hans Vibalt inherited the morality of the Founding Father of Germany.
 But he was only a grave digger and in 1946, the world was blessed
 with  his unemployment.

 Tears fell from his eyes at the sight of rusted gas cans just inside the fenced camp.

"A lot of jobs were lost when they shut this place down," he thought.

 Such thoughts are better left unspoken. 


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 Footnotes
 NEXT MONTH WILL BE HIS 2014th BIRTHDAY
 is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

 Mr. Sidney and Gunter Schmash were first acknowledged
 in the 1999 edition of the NEITHER/NOR Bible.  
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