Thursday, October 31, 2013

A Halloween Song

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My name it is Matthews, and I've got it made
A memorial maker - it's a profitable trade
I don't solicit business; there's no point in trying
What I like about my customers - they just keep on dying

Here lies Frederick, mourned by his wife
He lead a blameless life
He couldn't win the way she treated him
His gravestone should have read
Here lies Fred - he's better off dead
Chad & Jeremy
Rest in Peace



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The Ultimate V-word

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Vanity was what you needed to be a genuine artist. Vanity on a terrific scale.
You could talk all you wanted about stick-to-it-iveness, Faith-in-yourself
but nobody but an egotistical dumb-bell would have such blind faith in himself
that he'd stick to it for years, not noticing he was no better than anybody else.

Dawn Powell
Angels On Toast





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Footnote
The next Dawn Powell page is here.
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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Vidal De & Vidal Dawn

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Fifteen months ago tomorrow, we lost an elegant, acerbic all-around man of letters.


Gore Vidal
(1915-2012)

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VIDAL DE = Quotes on Democracy

Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice like, Painkiller X and Painkiller Y.
But they're both just aspirin.

The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country—and we haven't seen them since.

Fifty percent of people won't vote, and 50% don't read newspapers. I hope it's the same fifty percent.

The corporate grip on opinion in the United States is one of the wonders of the Western world.
No First World country has ever managed to eliminate so entirely from its media all objectivity–
much less dissent.
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VIDAL DAWN = Quotes about his "spiritual mother," Dawn Powell

For decades Dawn Powell was always just on the verge of ceasing to be a cult
and becoming a major religion.

Powell was that unthinkable monster, a witty woman who felt no obligation
to make a single, much less a final, down payment on Love or The Family.


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Footnotes
The Lewis Carroll School of Logic is flatered by having Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum
punned into Gore Vidal & Dawn Powell.

The next Dawn Powell page is here.
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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

He Said...She Said...(He/She #10) ©

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"GOD is an acronym. It stands for Group Of Deities."

"That dates back to ancient Greece when G.O.D. lived on Mt. Olympus."

"Damn those Greeks: they invented everything."

"Let's go eat some of their yogurt."
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I Sought The Unfindable But...

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...Learned something more About Dawn Powell and her alma mater.
The following email is one click away from complete legibility.




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Footnote
The next Dawn Powell page is here.

The GCD Question At The M.A.M.

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In the Common Denominator Room of the MathArt Museum, 5 photographs were exhibited
and 1 question was asked:

What is the Greatest Common Denominator of these five pictures?


Frida Kahlo & Diego Rivera


Scott Fitzgerald


Ella Fitzgerald


Salvador Dali


Gore Vidal

Hand-written answers were placed in a fur-lined cylinder.

Two of the portraits have the same last name–Fitzgerald
was incorrect because it involved only a subset of the portraits.

All five photographs depict artists
is undeniably true but not the greatest common denominator.

All of the people in the pictures have vowels in their names
is also true but is also not the GCD.

Frida & Diego were married; Ella & Scott were married.
Dali & Vidal were married to their public perception

was the most creative answer.

All five photographs were taken by Carl Van Vechten
is the correct answer but it was submitted by "Anonymous."

Had Anonymous identified him/her self, he/she would have received a prize:
An autographed & laminated copy of an article about the only
dance-worthy & complete proof of the Pythagorean Theorem.


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Footnotes
The next Fitzgerald page is here.

The next MAM page is here.
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Two MUTTS Two Days Before Halloween (CR # 145 )

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MUTTS
Patrick McDonnell


CR = Comic Relief
#145 = GoodFather page number 145
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He Said...She Said...(He/She #9) ©

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"When you have a monkey on your back, you tend to ignore
  the gold leaf on your friend's shoulder."

"But I have neither of those things."

"Which is why you are my best friend."

"The same to you."
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The M.A.M. On Minus 4th Street

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ART IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FORM OF APPLIED MATHEMATICS
is written in rainbowed script above the main entrance to the MAM

In the Common Denominator room of the MathArt Museum,
a small plaque introduced two paintings:
1939 - 1551 = 338

Museum curator Ann Rilevo explained:
"Three hundred thirty eight years transpired
between this Aersten painting and the Dali dreamscape.
We did the math for you...Let your imagination do the rest."


1939

Salvador Dali
Daddy Longlegs of the Evening - Hope


1551

Pieter Aersten
The Meat Stall



As they often say at the Lewis Carroll School of Logic:
IMAGINATION = (STIMULUS) + (CREATIVE RESPONSE)

Thank you, MAM!
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Monday, October 28, 2013

At The MATH Art Museum On Minus 4th Street

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Michaelangelo Pistoletto
Quadro Pranzo


The museum docent translated Quadro Panzo into English:
"Area of a Circle," said Pete Thagrus.

"Not true," exclaimed Litra Lee, the art critic,
"It means Framework Lunch!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but Pistoletto solicits the passion of a viewer,
not a critic.
As a passionate observer of MATH art,"
said the docent, "What I see in the middle of this sculpture
is the pi symbol."

"Of course," said the art critic, "people eat pie with their lunch."

"That is true, of course, and a valid observation but pi
without the e–has no calories. It looks like this: π
It is the ratio of distance around a circle to the distance
across a circle."

"Continue, please."

"The π symbol is flanked by two rectangular squares."

"Isn't 'rectangular squares' a redundancy."

"Yes, it is. Therefore, we abbreviate it r-square..."

"Don't tell me. Together, the symbols represent π r-squared"

"Exactly! Because the r morphs into the symbol
for the radius thingy and the resultant effect
of this MATH art is a formula:


"But Ms. Lee, you are free to interpret Pistoletto's sculpture
as Framework Lunch...For inspiring this dialog,
The MATH Art Museum has a gift for you."

"Is it a free pass to the museum?"

"No. This laminated document is the history
of the GodFather of Math."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Thagrus.


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Footnotes
The Lewis Carroll School of Logic will be eternally grateful if Litra Lee shares
the laminated document with a docent–or art critic– at a museum in Manhattan.

Thank you, MAM!
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Sunday, October 27, 2013

Divine Or Entwined Intervention?

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Lewis Carroll, author of Alice in Wonderland, would have loved Yesterday's World Series game.
It was baseball being played Through The Looking Glass, where opposite realities can prevail.

Allen Craig scored the winning run while being tagged out before reaching home plate.



But context is everything: five seconds before the catcher applied the tag, this happened:


Neither divine intervention nor entwined intervention, the correct ruling was Obstruction,
commonly known as too much intimacy between players.
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Introducing Ms. Hilwy

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She thought the “name” connection was cool enough to get hired
but when Hillary Clinton’s people rejected her application as a staffer,
H.H. Hilwy said “This is the end of the road for me!”

Then she walked away. She reached a fork in the road.
She picked up the fork and used it to eat her French fries.

She woke from the dream, clutching an empty bag of potato chips.

Henrietta H. Hilwy groped for her lover but he wasn't there.
She groped for her phone and dialed his number.

I am sorry but your lover is not available at this time.
He is busy dreaming about French fries.

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For twenty years, Henrietta Harriet Hilwy was a well-respected editor
at HAMMS, the publishing house famous for coffee table art books.
Inconsistent with members of her profession, she felt guilt
when she did something unethical. It was the rarest of qualities
in the world of publishing.

When HAMMS BOOKS was bought out by a German company in 2007,
H.H. Hilwy was given her walking papers.

It was easy for Uber Alice Incorporated to respect
this distinguished editor but it was much easier to fire her.


To Be Continued
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Saturday, October 26, 2013

...By Order of The Lewis Carroll School of Logic... ............................I Now Present.............................

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...With a Disney Cultural Makeover...Formerly known as the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland...

The newest, coolest kickboxing sensation in the nation...The Wrestlin' Wondercat...


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Friday, October 25, 2013

The iAnderthal Cafe

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They have i-Phones and i-Books...They have i-Pads and i-Tunes...



Welcome to the iAnderthal Cafe...Where you need not make eye contact.
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She Said...He Said...(He/She #8) ©

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"The one thing we all have in common is that everybody is unique."

"Yogi Berra could not have said that any better."

"Yogi Berra? I don't get it."

"Well, you can't get everything. Where would you keep it?"
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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Yesterday's Gone But Chad & Jeremy Are Still Here

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We walked together hand in hand
Cross miles and miles of golden sand
But now it's over and done
'Cause that was yesterday and yesterday's gone




That is how Chad & Jeremy looked and sounded in 1964

Yesterday is gone and now it is 2013

And this is how the Simon & Garfunkel of the Motherland

Look and sound today



Wait 'til summer comes again
I hope that you'll remember when
Our love had just begun



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Footnote
The Lewis Carroll School of Logic mandates another Chad & Jeremy page.
It will feature a song from their 1967 album, OF CABBAGES AND KINGS.
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Sponsoring A Giotto???

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Who amongst thou has the courage and the coinage
To send thou logo on a controversial voyage

Above the head of Jesus crucified on the cross
Who darest have a message to emboss?



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Giotto's 13th Century Crucifix, with unbesmirched panel,
is suspended from the nave of the Santa Maria Novella
in Florence, Italy.


Giotto di Bondone
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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Art Daily/ New York Times Convergence

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On October 18 there was a very fortunate coincidence for those of us who try to do things the right way.
We refer to the coincidence of putting the same photograph on the cover as the New York Times.

This happens every once in a while and that day it was the case. So today we publish in this section
the graphic testimony to which we refer. In addition, we took the task of finding out which other
major newspaper had done the same ... but no, no other newspaper published the photo we received
from AFP/Georgian National Museum on the cover. Again: How beautiful it is to coincide!

And if that was not enough, the real reason is that it was an unusual story, as if it had come
from another planet: the photo of a man who lived 1.8 million years ago.
Congratulations to the people of AFP!


Word-for-word, the text below the photograph is from Art Daily
but the following words are mine:


The New York Times should be flattered to have a same day lead photograph
as ART DAILY. If more "major newspapers" did the same thing,
they would sell a lot more papers!


© artdaily.org
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Portraits by Mrs. CarPeo

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CarPeo Inc. ©


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Monday, October 21, 2013

About The Last Three Pages

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Did you see

Three
Titled Sequentially?

Poetically?

Now colorfully:

Once upon a coast
Once upon the other coast
Once upon another DP post

To re-title this page,
(With photo of historical age)
It coulda been, I think...

Once Upon A Skating Rink


The Rockefeller Center Skating Rink, in 1936,
Was supposed to be a temporary thing.
Now an invigorating Seventy-seven years old...
Soon you will hear its' Christmas choir sing.
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Once Upon Another DP Post

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In the dead of night wives talked to their husbands,
in the dark they talked and talked
while the clock on the bureau ticked sleep away,
and the last street cars clanged off
on distant streets to remoter suburbs,
where in new houses bursting with mortgages
and the latest conveniences,
wives talked in the dark,
and talked and talked.

All over the country wives droned on and on
about the bridge prizes, the luncheons,
the hollandaise sauce, the walnut surprise,
the little defeats, the little jealousies,
the children, the grocer, the neighbor,
and husbands might pull pillows over their heads
or stuff their ears with cotton, pretend to snore,
sigh loudly with fatigue, no matter,
the voices went on and on.
Dawn Powell
Angels On Toast



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Footnote
Another quote from ANGELS ON TOAST is here
and the next Dawn Powell page involves her alma mater, Lake Erie College.
But we are not finished serving TOAST!
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Sunday, October 20, 2013

Once Upon The Other Coast ©

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"Decadence ruled the day!" is a phrase quite often heard
And a picture is worth one thousand words


Coney Island
Paul Cadmus


Your eye goes first to the human pyramid
But, lower right, you can't miss the kid.

With pinched butt, he does rest
Up against his mother's breast.

The butt-pincher sleeps with a magazine
Or so it does seem.
Hairy and hung over, is he having a dream?

The year was 1934
Now try this on for size:
The decadent art of Paul Cadmus
did prophecize!

The photo in the magazine,
Unfortunately it is often heard,
Is a picture worth
six million words.


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Footnote


Mrs. Carpoo loves to play the name game.
When Mr. Carpoo said "Paul Cadmus,"
she said "Reginald Marsh."
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Saturday, October 19, 2013

Once Upon A Coast ©

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Once upon a coast...History does boast

There was a clarion call...
Come One, Come All

For Californians within reach...Everybody came to Long Beach

They swam, they saw, they sunned...Every Peter, Paula, & Mike
Then went Roller-coasting at the Pike




The stamp on the photograph read≈
Queen of the Beaches...A.T. Brown Photo...with Winstead Bros.


The caption below the 1915 photo:
Coney Island had nothing on us

Source:
HISTORICAL SOCIETY OF LONG BEACH
JOURNAL 1971/1972

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Adan & Eva & Running Rocks

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The BOARDWALK 1-K INVITATIONAL RACE
Featured a leaping Eva in third place

Unbeknownst to the viewer
Adan runs without socks



Unbeknownst to the viewer
The other runner is "Rocks"

"Where did he get that name?"
Asked Eva's (unseen) Mother Betty

Adan calls his buddy "Rocks"
Because they met at the jetty!

(None of the runners have freckles
Their skin has lotsa sand speckles)

Adan gestures a victory divine
As Rocks is crosses the finish line

Walking to the jetty the trio then did
To meet a Siamese cat named Euclid




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Footnotes
This copyrighted page is a CarPeo product and is not to be confused with Carpoo Tunnel Syndrome.

The next adventure of ADAN & EVA is here.


CarPeo Inc. ©
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Friday, October 18, 2013

Not Mr. CaPPuccino's Favorite Song...

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Well three cappucinos and three croissant
Jonathan Jonathan wadda ya want?
Not me not me
No I couldn’t sit down no more

Cause I couldn’t stay inside talkin
Had to get outside rockin

In the cappuccino bar
Everybody sits there smilin
I was among them too
Till I heard the call of the wild...
Jonathan Richman
In The Cappuccino Bar




"I disagree, Mr. Oliverio," said Midas Welby.
"Jonathan's three cappuccinos and three croissants...


"Plus three honey bars...had to make the cash register smile.
I know Cap Puccino as well as I know me and he might as well be
taking advantage of the situation by photographing Jonathan Richman
sidewalk serenading outside his business establishment.

"What if the sidewalk serenading is illegal there?"

"Mr. Puccino would be wise enough to photograph Jonathan
while being chased away by the police. Then the pictures
could be posted on the CaPPuccino Bar's walls."

"Or the photos would go viral on the internet."

"Now I agree with you, Paul. And the publicity
for the coffee house would be worth a gazillion dollars."

"Then Jonathan would probably write a sequel to the song."

"He already did."

"Really?"

"From the Cappuccino Bar, Jonathon would lead the serenaded
sidewalkers to the dance floor of a Lesbian bar...
and Mr. Oliverio just gave SHUTTERSTOCK some free publicity."

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But I Can't Get Along Without Nina & Frank & Billie

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I GET ALONG WITHOUT YOU VERY WELL was composed by Hoagy Carmichael in 1939,
with lyrics based on a poem written by Jane Brown Thompson.

The poem, entitled "Except Sometimes," was given
to Mr. Carmichael by a student at Indiana University.

I get along without you very well,
Of course I do.
Except the times a soft rain falls,
And dripping off the trees recalls
How you and I stood deep in mist
One day far in the woods, and kissed.
But now I get along without you — well,
Of course I do...



NINA SIMONE
I Get Along Without You Very Well



FRANK SINATRA
I Get Along Without You Very Well



BILLIE HOLIDAY
I Get Along Without You Very Well


Deciding which is the best rendition of this song
would be like deciding which is the best offer:
Ten million dollars or  $10,000,000 or  $10,000,000.00

No greater honor could be bestowed upon Jane Brown Thompson than to have her poem
"recited" by such a treasure triumvirate of Ms. Simone, Mr. Sinatra, and Ms. Holiday.

This page was requested by she who has me
reflected through her looking glass.


 The next Nina Simone page is  here. 
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She Said...He Said... (He/She #7) ©

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"There is no mystery to the virgin birth of Jesus Christ!"

"And you believe this because..."

"They had no choice but to call it an immaculate conception."

"By 'they,' are you referring to the authors of the Christian Bible?"

"Of course."

"Then why did they call the virgin birth an immaculate conception?"

"Because, in Biblical times, there was no such term as Surrogate Mother."

"Many minds, much greater than ours have pondered this interpretation..."

"Yadda, yadda, yadda...but not one of those minds has any respect for the donor."

"Praytell my dear. Whose egg was donated to Mary?"

"Of course, the sperm came from God but the egg came from Godette."

"From whom?

"I said Godette. You can look it up!"
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Thursday, October 17, 2013

Tell Me, Doctor Rorschach...

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...Is that man conducting an orchestra or choreographing the Dancing Follicles?



...Or is that man a woman?
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From The Mystic Lamb To The Ultimate Spider

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Someone named Paul is a retired teacher.
Someone named Benedict is a retired Pope.

Paul can attach many asterisks to his "retirement."
Benedict needs only one and it should be bigger than the North Star.



But the retired teacher has been struck by the L-words.
The GoodFather of Math is too Lazy to duplicate
what the GodFather of Math has already documented:
The Real Reason Pope Benedict Retired.

The other L-word is Link, as in hyper-Link.
Therefore, YOU can read about why
this is the ULTIMATE SPIDER page.

Please go and read it. I will wait right here.
...
...
...

A very clever TV personality recently referred to Benedict
as the "Sandwich Pope," the Pontiff between two Superstars–
Francis and John Paul II.

I am too proud of a Catholic to dispute their Superstardom
but I refuse to "pity" the Pontiff they sandwiched.

All I really want to do is quote the GodFather of Math:

Benedict had to vacate the Papacy
but he is willing to say that he “resigned.”
In truth, he got a promotion.


Have a happy hyperLink.


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Footnote
One more L-word: this is the Last of five consecutive pages
about "animals." They began here.
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Tuesday, October 15, 2013

The New Look Of The Lamb

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The adoration of animals is the lead story in today's Art Daily.


A person works on the restoration of the 15th century Early Flemish polyptych panel painting
"The Adoration of the Mystic Lamb" by Jan and Hubert van Eyck in the Museum of Fine Arts
in Ghent.


AFP PHOTO/ Nicolas Maeterlinck


But the Mystic Lamb appears in this panel



© artdaily.org
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