She Said, He Said (He/She #2) ©

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"I am not finger painting. This is my Blackberry. Finger painting is what children do.
 A Blackberry is not a child's toy."

"I am so sorry for mistaking your self-absorption for child's play. You are indeed
 an adult. I apologize again. You were not finger painting, you were finger poking."
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 Footnote
 The genders of the title may be reversed or equalized, according to taste.
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Jetty Beach Revenue Stream

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...Twenty five cents will get you one hour beach time...Full color added at not extra cost...
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Hornicycle Or Musical instrument?

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Just Joking Or Julian Beever?

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Ellipses Or Circles?

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........................................Perspective is Everything........................................
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Iron Fist Or Antique Bike Rack?

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One Solid Stack...(A Matter Of Perspective)

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One very solid stack of chairs sits fits eighteen mini-people...



...Plus one tent, formerly occupied by six tattoo/surfer artists
who regaled & mesmerized two hundred perfectly tanned,
middle-aged, deep-pocketed denizens of "O. C."

(As in Orange County where–if your personal worth is less
than one million $–they put you on a bus to Los Angeles.)

When the artist called "Professor" said Surrealism is Dead
Fifty people lunged to the stage to kiss his ring.
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Behind the stage, three blackshorts stood guard. Only the middle one reacted...



...to the lunging people. He wiped the Professor's ring between kisses.
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Oyster Coffee Summit (A Poem)

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THE PATIO PALAVER PEOPLE

They drink their oyster coffee
decrying neighbors unseen
harpoon humor
with sugar and cream

Articulating ambush
with every sip
but none dare
call it gossip

In one final voice
they do so declare

“We do not gossip.
All we do is share!”
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Footnote
PATIO PALAVER PEOPLE is the copyrighted property of the Lewis CARroll School of Logic.
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From The Harpoon To The Lampoon

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This is not a harpoon. It is a sword: The Sword of Satire.



Robby Ravenwood wields this weapon against targets ranging from A to Z
in the key of E...

On the Good Ship Ravenwood, there is guitar, piano, and a crew full
of other musical instruments.

Nine previous pages of the GoodFather dealt with Captain Ahab's obsession
with MOBY DICK.

But this page deals with Captain Robby's nemesis: a Vehicular Dictator
who may or may not be an enemy to those of us who sails the asphalt seas.

He is not a great white whale. He is a skinny old white man...


Traffic Man


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Footnote
TRAFFIC MAN is the copyrighted property of Robby Ravenwood.
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MOBY DICK...The G. Peck Flick...(MD #9)

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It is the calm before the storm...


The Pequod

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Call him Ishmael...He sees everything but the silly curl in his hair


Richard Basehart

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Captain Ahab...Calling him sinister is serious understatement


Gregory Peck

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Starbuck...To be reincarnated as the King of Coffee


Leo Genn

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Queequeg...He was a king from a South Sea Island


Friedrich von Ledebur

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Pip...Mr. Tambourine Boy senses something is happening...


Tamba Allenby

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...And the crew knows what it is....



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MOBY DICK...In a moment of calm before the storm


"That ain't no whale; that a great white god!"

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The photograph of the whale was taken before
the great white god posed for the film poster.


Moby Dick (1956)

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MO' BEached Whale...w/Pun Alert... (MD #8)

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After eating Captain Sandhab, the MO' BEached whale was assaulted with sandpoons. But the fatal blow
to the Great White descendent of MOBY DICK was delivered by a jetty-poon fired from a distant shore.
The sharpshooters were the Speck Brothers (Quee & Queg).

The remains of MO'BE DICK have been on public exhibit since August 18. All visitors have had
a whale of a time. The exhibit will continue until Nature says otherwise.


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Footnotes
"MO' BEached Whale" was reported by the OREGANO NEWS ORGANIZATION©
O.N.O. is an affiliate of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.



Whale photograph by rls
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A Partial Crestomathy of MOBY DICK (MD #7)

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If you are taking notes, a Crestomathy is collection of quotes.
What follows is collaged from the pages that this man wrote.

It can be said that his story is all about men gone deep-sea fishin'
But these words from MOBY DICK are all about the human condition


Herman Melville
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Call me Ishmael...

It requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately
stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s hats off–
then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.

Let the most absent-minded of men be plunged in his deepest reveries–
stand that man on his legs, set his feet a-going, and he will
infallibly lead you to water.

Meditation and water are wed forever.

What of it, if some old hunks of a sea-captain orders me
to get a broom and sweep down the deck.
Who aint a slave? Tell me that.
The old sea-captains may order me about–however they may thump
and punch me about, I have the satisfaction of knowing it is all right;
that everybody else is one way or other served in much the same way–
either in a physical or metaphysical point of view.

All the difference in the world between paying and being paid.

A man can be honest in any sort of skin.

Ignorance is the parent of fear.

A good laugh is a mighty good thing, and too scarce a thing;
the more’s the pity.

The man that has anything bountifully laughable about him,
be sure there is more in that man than you perhaps think for.

How bitterly will burst the straps in the first howling gale,
when thou art driven, straps, buttons, and all,
down the throat of the tempest.

Looking at things spiritual, we are too much like oysters
observing the sun through the water. The world is a ship
on its passage out, and not a voyage complete.
The pulpit is its prow.

Replenished with the meat and wine of the word, to the faithful
men of God, this pulpit is a self-containing stronghold.

Sin that pays its way can travel freely and without a passport;
whereas Virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers.

Conscience is the wound and there is naught to staunch it.

Woe to him whose good name is more to him than goodness.

What is said in heat, that thing unsays itself.

One most perilous and long voyage ends, then begins a second;
and a second ends, then begins a third...Such is the endlessness
of all the intolerableness of all earthly effort.

All men tragically great are made so through a certain morbidness.

A man’s religion is one thing, and this practical world quite another.

Think not, is my eleventh commandment and sleep when you can,
is my twelfth.

I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will,
I’ll go to it laughing.

Hell is an idea first born on an undigested apple-dumpling.

A soul is a sort of fifth wheel to a wagon.

I cherish the greatest respect towards everybody’s religious obligations,
never mind how comical, and could not find it in my heart to undervalue
even a congregation of ants worshiping a toad-stool.

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And so full of his thought was Ahab. You could almost see that thought
turn in him as he turned, and pace in him as he paced. So completely
possessing him, indeed, that it all but seemed the inward mould
of every outer movement.

The clouds that layer upon layer were piled upon his brow, as ever
all clouds choose the loftiest peaks to pile themselves upon.

He will have no one near him but Nature herself; and her he takes to wife
in the wilderness of waters, and the best of wives she is,
though she keeps so many moody secrets.

I am madness maddened! That wild madness that’s only calm
to comprehend itself. The path to my fixed purpose is laid
with iron rails...My soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges,
through the rifled hearts of mountains...unerringly I rush!
Naught’s an obstacle, naught’s an angle to the iron way.
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There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair
we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a practical joke,
though the wit thereof he but dimly discerns, and more than suspects
the joke is at nobody’s expense but his own.

To any monomaniacal man, the veriest trifles capriciously carry meanings.

If you have never seen the sight of a dead sperm whale moored by night
to a whale ship at sea then suspend your decision about the propriety
of devil-worship.

As strange misgrown masses gather in the knot-holes of the noblest oaks
when prostrate, so from the points which the whale’s eyes had once been
occupied, now protruded blind bulbs, horribly pitiable to see.
But pity there was none.

For all his old age and his blind eyes, he must die the death
and be murdered, in order to light the gay bridals and other
merry-makings of men, and to illuminate the solemn churches
that preach unconditional inoffensiveness by all to all.

There is no folly of the beasts of the earth which is not
infinitely outdone by the madness of men.

Equally with every felicity, all miserable events do naturally beget their like.
More than equally, since both the ancestry and posterity of Grief go further
than the ancestry and posterity of Joy.

How dost thou know that some entire living, thinking thing may not be invisibly
standing precisely where thou now standest?
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Partial Humans (A Poem)

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ALL = (SUM OF THE PARTS)

all humans are part grief
all are part comic relief
are part thief
part chief

all humans are part beef
all are part tea leaf
are part O'keefe
part Van Cleef

all humans are part belief
all are part disbelief
are part motif
part bas relief

all humans...only differ in scale
with or without pass or fail

with or without portion or distortion
parts only differ in proportion
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Footnote
ALL = (SUM OF THE PARTS) is the copyrighted property of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
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From Revisionist Music To Pure Vegetable Music

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Call any vegetable Pick up your phone
Think of a vegetable Lonely at home
Call any vegetable And the chances are good
That a vegetable will respond to you
MOTHERS OF INVENTION ©


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I know that you'll feel better
When you send us in
Your letter an'
Tell us the name of your
Your favorite vegetable
BEACHBOYS ©


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Forget Moby Dick...Remember The Pequod's Sister Ship ......Captain Ahab ≈ Captain Arab ≈ Columbus......(MD #6)

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If perchance I were to picnic on the humpback of a whale
I would have a lot of time to tell many a wide & tall tale
If only just one recorded song were to fit into this scheme:
Let it be the revisionist history = Bob Dylan's 115th Dream
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I was riding on the Mayflower
When I thought I spied some land
I yelled for Captain Arab
I have yuh understand
Who came running to the deck
Said, "Boys, forget the whale
Look on over yonder
Cut the engines
Change the sail
Haul on the bowline"
We sang that melody
Like all tough sailors do
When they are far away at sea.

"I think I'll call it America"
I said as we hit the land
I took a deep breath
I fell down, I could not stand
Captain Arab he started
Writing up some deeds
He said, "Let's set up a fort
And start buying the place with beads."


The next Dylan page is here.
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Censored Letter for Herman Melville (MD #5)

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Dear Mr. Melville

It was the middle of the Nineteenth Century when you cast your vast fishnet of words
upon this whale of a world but I think you would have served a much better purpose
had you lived in biblical times.

In MOBY DICK, such phraseology as "How dost thou know" and "Woe to him who seeks"
harken back to ancient vernacular.

If the editors of the Testaments--both Old & New--had hired YOU & only YOU
to author the scriptures...

Then the Third Millennium would be fraught with better Christians, better Muslims,
Buddhists, Jews & Cannibals because tolerance of other people's religious beliefs
would be stitched into everyone's DNA.

Every man, woman and child would have been united in their pursuit of a Holy Grail
but we would all re-name it The Great White Whale

The only problem I had with reading MOBY DICK was your repeated usage of the
hunch-backed comma (;) which is more commonly known as the semi-colon.

Sincerely,

Bobby Pilgrim
4285 W.71th St.
Vonnegut, VA
22832


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Footnote
I received a copy of this letter from the Chancellor of The Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
Karl Hobbes scribbled in the margin:
For more information about Mr. Pilgrim's street address, click here
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The Re-incarnation of Two Classic Titles (CR #1029)

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Bliss



Duquette


The inspirational sources for Comic Relief #1030
are Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451
and Alfred Hitchcock's North by Northwest
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The Antithesis of MOBY DICK (MD #4)

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The antithesis of MOBY DICK is not MUTTS



Patrick McDonnell's modern comic strip is a very digestible
through the looking glass descendent of Herman Melville's 1851 novel.

Mr. Through-The-Looking-Glass himself...The Supreme Godfather
for whom my alma mater was named...A first-generation descendent of Mr. Melville...
wrote the Moby Antithesis 23 years after the great white whale splashed unto the scene:

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"Just the place for a Snark!" the Bellman cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.


"Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true."

Lewis Carroll
Hunting Of The Snark
(1874)
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The "Re-incarnation" of Mahatma Gandhi

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Before...



And after...




CHA is short for Cha-Cha


At most, one of the above images has been photo-shopped.
Mahatma Gandhi, the Liberator of India, died on January 30, 1948

Jigs Gandhi was managing a hotel as of October 16, 2011
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I Shot The Jetty

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It was a gun-metal gray morning
At the Long Beach Jetty

There was a fisherman
There was a fisherwoman

Both were named Speck



The Seal Beach Jetty,
Appearing black and angular,
Was actually
Perfectly parallel to the LB Jetty

A mirror image across the channel
A congruence of mega-rock

'Twixt the two many a boat
Passes painlessly

Red carpeting a path
To the ocean

But under that gun metal gray sky
Time was not on my side

I reached for the camera...

You can see
Exactly what I saw


And then...
And then...
And then...

I unlocked my bike



Seeking neither sand nor boardwalk
But solid unshot peninsula pavement

Pedaling miles six through eight,
Endorphins raced ahead of me.

And there he was...
And there he was...
And there he was...

For whom does the caged bird sing?



When plaqued in wood
And unflappable wing
For whom does he sing?

He will serenade anyone
Who passes by
In possession of a third eye

Anyone who can hear
With a third ear

Anyone who can hear
With an eagle's ear


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Footnote
This page would not exist if rls had not discovered the "caged bird."
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Art Daily Trifecta

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Flashback
On a day like today, Belgian painter René Magritte, died


René François Ghislain Magritte (21 November 1898 – 15 August 1967)
was a Belgian surrealist artist.
He became well known for a number of witty and thought-provoking images
that fell under the umbrella of surrealism.
His work challenges observers' preconditioned perceptions of reality.

The photograph of Rene Magritte, in front of his painting The Pilgrim,
was taken by Lothar Wolleh


Also in today's Art Daily: the interview with Peri Schwartz




and a re-enactment of a historical kiss...



Do not miss this...iss-
ue.

Today = 8/15/13


© artdaily.org


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Footnotes
Rene Magritte is the Posthumous Chairman of the Art Department
at the Lewis Carroll School of Logic

His painting–This Is Not A Pipe–has the title that launched
one hundred Blogiverio pages



Ceci n'est pas une pipe = This is not a pipe
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Sharktalk On The Pequod (MD #3)

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The crew that manned the Pequod
Needed more than reel & rod
To catch their prey

Talents must be vast and thick
To take down MOBY DICK
To not let him get away

In 1851, the crew most certainly indeed
Represented every race, color and creed

Therefore, in pursuit of Ahab's "perdition"
Melville invented the Rainbow Coalition

The Great White Whale was their main event
But into lesser whales
Harpoons were sent

One such victim, I must note
Segues this poem into a quote:

Tied by the head to the stern and the tail to the bows,
the whale now lies with its black hull close to the vessel's
and seen through the darkness of the night...the two–ship and whale–
seemed yoked together like colossal bullocks...one reclines while
the other remains standing.



In remote corners of the ocean
Where there is blood
Sharks are set in motion

To the frenzied feeders
The dead whale is one big banana
And someone bespoke them
The proper eating manner

That someone in Melville's 1851 book
Is the ninety-year old black cook

To quote him
Allow me, please
To segue into
Thus spake Fleece-a-sutra:

Your woraciousness, fellow-critters. I don't blame ye so much for;
dat is natur, and can't be helped; but to gobern dat wicked natur,
dat is de pint. You is sharks, sartin;
but if you gobern de shark in you, why den you be angel;
for all angel is not'ing more dan de shark well goberned.


MOBY DICK would never win an award for politically correct dialog
but the same thing can be said for the King James Bible.


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Footnote
The next page in the MOBY DICK sequence, also known as (MD #4) is here
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MOBY DICK & The Original Starbuck (MD #2)

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Calling Captain Ahab "obsessed"
is like calling Simon Wiesenthal a "hunter"

In a chapter entitled The Quarter Deck,
Ahab sermonizes to the entire crew of the whaling ship.



He impales them with a death wish
for the Great White Whale.

They respond with a blood lust for Moby Dick
and get rewarded with whiskey.

Starbuck, second-in-command to Captain Ahab, is the only dissenter:

I came here to hunt whales, not my commander's vengeance.
...Vengeance on a dumb brute that simply smote thee from blindest instinct!
Madness! To be enraged with a dumb thing, Captain Ahab, seems blasphemous.
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MOBY DICK: Call me Ishmael (MD #1)

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Ishmael narrates the story of
Herman Melville's MOBY DICK

To call MOBY DICK "classic literature"
is like calling the sun a "yellow ball."

Unlike me, I hope you read Mr. Melville's
saga of the sea before you are sixty-four.

The book was first published in 1851.
The following quotes are from Chapter 1:



It requires a strong moral principle to prevent me
from deliberately stepping into the street, and method-
ically knocking people’s hats off–then, I account it high time
to get to sea as soon as I can...There is magic in it.

What of it, if some old hunks of a sea-captain orders me
to get a broom and sweep down the deck...Who aint a slave?
Tell me that...However the old sea-captains may order me about–
however they may thump and punch me about, I have the satisfaction
of knowing it is all right; that everybody else is one way or other served
in much the same way–either in a physical or metaphysical point of view
...All the difference in the world between paying and being paid.


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Footnotes
The hyperlink adds a musical dimension to Ishmael's comment.
You do not have to be a Rhodes Scholar to detect Herman Melville's
influence on Bob Dylan or anyone who has creatively put pen to paper,
beginning with Mark Twain and Lewis Carroll.

It was Mr. Twain who once said:
Classic- a book which people praise but don't read.

Please Please Please–prove him wrong
and don't wait sixty-four years to do so!
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The Calm Of The Palms

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The car went curbside and out came the phone

Six keystrokes later, he was not alone

All she said was Ooooooooooom or was it Shalom?


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The Ubiquitous Zelda Fitzgerald (CR #1020)

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What would Scott Fitzgerald say?


Keith Duquette


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Footnote
The next Fitzgerald page–a letter from J.D. Salinger to Ernest Hemingway–is here.
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Her Biopic Is Coming Soon

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This is a show tune
But the show hasn't
been written Yet



This is a double-autographed album
but the buyer hasn't
been found Yet



This is my tenth--
Nina Simone post.
The others can be found
in the Godfather of Math
or Wordpress.
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Return of Adan & Eva

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Their uber-egos
Began in paradise
Then the Boss-man
Rolled the dice

Divine interdiction
Forced an eviction
...
...
...
No if/and or but
Led to the beachfront coconut

No flipping or flopping
Eva takes Adan shopping



(Better to enter
The Pall Mall
Than to smoke one)

Yes, they are not nude
But their saga is
To be continued...


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Footnote
This copyrighted page is a CarPeo product.
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6-5-4-3-2-1

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I repeat myself
But only after staggering the numbers
Through the Looking Glass


Hazeburg, VA (2006)

But if you subtract the 6
Manfred Mann will provide a countdown
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