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"Doctor, the only reason I work is so I can afford to tell you
how much I hate my job."
"But Andy, your success as a political consultant
affords you pleasures most people can only
dream about."
"Their dreams are my nightmares and..."
"Instead of nightmares, I want to discuss
the
poem you snail-mailed me."
"Shit! You read it already?"
"You knew I would. Stop pretending."
"Yes, Dr. Freed."
DOCTOR HANDS PATIENT THE
POEM
"Today, instead of an abstract discussion
about the dream/nightmare dichotomy,
we can get very specific.
Recite it, please."
"
I do not believe a word they say
But I will listen to their stories
Every night and day
As long as they know
I am not going away."
"Who is
they?"
"My brothers and sisters in New Jersey."
"What do you
not believe?"
"Everything they say regarding Julia's death
and her estate."
"Julia is the Aunt who became your guardian?"
"Yes. She inherited five children when our parents died."
"Didn't you tell me that you flew 20,000 miles
to get her neighboring relatives
to visit her in the hospice?"
"Yes. Four flights to New Jersey to organize
family reunions amongst siblings
who otherwise would never
be caught in the same room."
"But why do you
listen to their stories?"
"Because no one in California knows about this:
Every day...Aunt Julia would take little Andy
to the library. It stopped when she caught me
stealing a book."
"What book was it?"
"It depends on which brother or sister you ask
and I'll be damned if I remember. But
the point is I lust for stories about
growing up in Princeton."
"How old were you when your parents died?"
"Nine. Maria–the youngest–was two."
"Why didn't you attend Julia's funeral?"
"Because I was afraid of how I'd react
in front of my siblings: my ego might
have gone elephantine or I could
have drowned in my tears."
"And your ego is what you meant by
As long as they know
I am not going away."
"WOW! That is the other reason
I am here three days a week."
"Hold the sarcasm, Andy."
"I apologize, Dr. Freed."
"Apology accepted only if
the next five sessions are focused exclusively
on the responses you gave me today.
See you tomorrow."
"But Doctor, I didn't hear the timer yet."
"You will not hear
Rama Lama Ding Dong again
until after the fifth session."
The Doctor:
A. FREED
The Patient:
A. NONEMUS
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Footnotes
THE PSYCHIATRIST'S PATIENT is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
Please accept my apology for the absence of hyperlinks on this page.
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