____________________________________________________________________________________
© Paul Oliverio
Featuring Purple Haze
Dedicated to Jimi Hendrix' Grandmother
The sand in the 4th photo is a foreshadowing of the next Jimi Hendrix page.
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This is GODFATHER OF MATH, The Sequel <<<<<>>>> If you continue reading, you may need laughter insurance.
Quote-unQuote
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The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS...Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I think therefore I am troubled = RENEE DESCARTES<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS...Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I think therefore I am troubled = RENEE DESCARTES<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
I Can't See Your Face ©
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When Samson Grego awoke, he felt his face.
He scratched his nose. He looked in the mirror.
Nothing was any different from the day before.
When Samantha Grego awoke, nothing
was different from any other morning
until she looked at Samson.
She could not see his face.
He could not see her face but her beautiful breasts
and all the other wonders of her body were intact.
So they made love as if they were in a dream
where faces were optional.
An hour later, there was an egg in front of Samantha.
There was also an egg in front of Samson.
Neither of these eggs were cooked
nor intended to be eaten.
One egg was where Samantha's face used to be
but only from Samson's point of view.
Samantha clearly saw her face in the mirror
but her husband's face was nothing but an egg,
unbroken with the pointed side up.
The reverse was true for her husband except that
Samantha's egg face had the rounded side up.
However, when either one spoke,
the other could hear every word.
"Samantha, where did your face go?"
"I was about to ask you the same question."
"There are probably lots of questions
we could be asking but...
"Shouldn't bother with. I can still see your soul.
I know where your heart is. Any questions
I can think of, I will just make up the answers
and count our lucky stars."
"Twenty seven."
"What?"
"At last count, we had twenty seven lucky stars."
"Then let's call it twenty-eight and have a nice day."
"Twenty eight. Sounds like a perfect number."
____________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
I CAN'T SEE YOUR FACE is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
Usage of this story can be negotiated with Paul Oliverio,
via this website.
____________________________________________________________________________________
When Samson Grego awoke, he felt his face.
He scratched his nose. He looked in the mirror.
Nothing was any different from the day before.
When Samantha Grego awoke, nothing
was different from any other morning
until she looked at Samson.
She could not see his face.
He could not see her face but her beautiful breasts
and all the other wonders of her body were intact.
So they made love as if they were in a dream
where faces were optional.
An hour later, there was an egg in front of Samantha.
There was also an egg in front of Samson.
Neither of these eggs were cooked
nor intended to be eaten.
One egg was where Samantha's face used to be
but only from Samson's point of view.
Samantha clearly saw her face in the mirror
but her husband's face was nothing but an egg,
unbroken with the pointed side up.
The reverse was true for her husband except that
Samantha's egg face had the rounded side up.
However, when either one spoke,
the other could hear every word.
"Samantha, where did your face go?"
"I was about to ask you the same question."
"There are probably lots of questions
we could be asking but...
"Shouldn't bother with. I can still see your soul.
I know where your heart is. Any questions
I can think of, I will just make up the answers
and count our lucky stars."
"Twenty seven."
"What?"
"At last count, we had twenty seven lucky stars."
"Then let's call it twenty-eight and have a nice day."
"Twenty eight. Sounds like a perfect number."
____________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
I CAN'T SEE YOUR FACE is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
Usage of this story can be negotiated with Paul Oliverio,
via this website.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Paulgiarism: A Cherry-Picking Poem
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Quality is job one
For those who think young
Some would rather scratch an itch
Some would rather fight than switch
Enjoy the fun...Enjoy the fox
Think outside the bun
Think outside the box
Think below...Think above:
The toughest job you’ll ever love
What you have breeds what you get
Never let ‘em see you sweat
Be not weaker...Be stronger
Make a silly millimeter longer
Take it all off...Turn it all on
But do you have Grey Poupon?
Flavored majority/savored minority
Answer to a higher authority
Good luck on your day in court
Thank you for your support.
Definitely or maybe
You've come a long way, baby
Of this–and only this–
You can be sure
Life is not a job.
It’s an adventure.
Graditudinal reference
Is made in self-defence:
I cherrypicked with half of my might
From a 100-slogan website.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Regarding the only specific brand product named above,
please send all coupons to this website.
Please donate all other dijon mustard coupons to the charity
(or grocery store) of your choice.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Quality is job one
For those who think young
Some would rather scratch an itch
Some would rather fight than switch
Enjoy the fun...Enjoy the fox
Think outside the bun
Think outside the box
Think below...Think above:
The toughest job you’ll ever love
What you have breeds what you get
Never let ‘em see you sweat
Be not weaker...Be stronger
Make a silly millimeter longer
Take it all off...Turn it all on
But do you have Grey Poupon?
Flavored majority/savored minority
Answer to a higher authority
Good luck on your day in court
Thank you for your support.
Definitely or maybe
You've come a long way, baby
Of this–and only this–
You can be sure
Life is not a job.
It’s an adventure.
Graditudinal reference
Is made in self-defence:
I cherrypicked with half of my might
From a 100-slogan website.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Regarding the only specific brand product named above,
please send all coupons to this website.
Please donate all other dijon mustard coupons to the charity
(or grocery store) of your choice.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday, May 3, 2014
A Cat Named Zelda
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This
is
a
cat
named
Zelda.
This
is
a
dog
named
Walter.
What they have in common
is the only question
on their minds.
That question is...
Where is Mrs. CarPeo?
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This
is
a
cat
named
Zelda.
This
is
a
dog
named
Walter.
What they have in common
is the only question
on their minds.
That question is...
Where is Mrs. CarPeo?
____________________________________________________________________________________
The Dog Bloggerer (Comic Relief #500)
____________________________________________________________________________________
Mooch is the pooch in MUTTS.
He is an ecdysiast but is not as easy on the eyes as Carol Doda.
He may, however, be a tad more philosophical
than the original steroid boob lady.
Sometimes, he gets base but that is not wat I ment.
Ther is no missspelling hear–it is creative spelling.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Mooch is the pooch in MUTTS.
He is an ecdysiast but is not as easy on the eyes as Carol Doda.
He may, however, be a tad more philosophical
than the original steroid boob lady.
Sometimes, he gets base but that is not wat I ment.
Ther is no missspelling hear–it is creative spelling.
____________________________________________________________________________________
MEgotism
____________________________________________________________________________________
Jefferson High School teacher, Paul Oliverio, wearing his "MATH HURTS" T-shirt,
gave the signal to hit the boombox sitting at the rear of the classroom.
As the rhythmic rant of a too-cool rapper, backed by pounding bass and drums,
began to fill Room 312, smiles crept out on the faces of his captive audience...
Elizabeth Taylor
Kurt Vonnegut
ELAINE WOO
wrote front-page obituaries for Elizabeth Taylor and Kurt Vonnegut.
The Los Angeles Times reporter wrote about Ms. Taylor
and Mr. Vonnegut when they died.
She wrote about me when
I gave life to the Pythagorean Theorem.
Can you dig it?
Another dead person Ms. Woo wrote about is also
written about extensively by Mr. GoodFather:
J. D. Salinger
____________________________________________________________________________________
Rapping Teacher Proves He Has All the Angles
Teacher mixes math and hip-hop to teach
10th-graders the Pythagorean Theorem.
Jefferson High School teacher, Paul Oliverio, wearing his "MATH HURTS" T-shirt,
gave the signal to hit the boombox sitting at the rear of the classroom.
As the rhythmic rant of a too-cool rapper, backed by pounding bass and drums,
began to fill Room 312, smiles crept out on the faces of his captive audience...
Elizabeth Taylor
Kurt Vonnegut
ELAINE WOO
wrote front-page obituaries for Elizabeth Taylor and Kurt Vonnegut.
The Los Angeles Times reporter wrote about Ms. Taylor
and Mr. Vonnegut when they died.
She wrote about me when
I gave life to the Pythagorean Theorem.
Can you dig it?
Another dead person Ms. Woo wrote about is also
written about extensively by Mr. GoodFather:
![]() |
| Mr. Salinger's next page is here. |
J. D. Salinger
____________________________________________________________________________________
Friday, May 2, 2014
E-Z Classics: Frankie K's THE MORPH
____________________________________________________________________________________
The Institute of Inane Research determined
that 97% of people who are old enough
to read books do not read books
unless each page has
140 characters or less.
Stanley Lamont Streamline, Chief Executive Buffoon of the IIR,
has just published an uber-shortened
and mega-modernized edition of
the fabled Metamorphosis
by Franz Kafka.
What had been a 59-full page story with over 10,000 words
has been reduced to all of 46 words.
No page has more than twelve words but,
with illustrations, it is still a 59-page story.
Both the title and the author's name have been
"culturally compromised."
We hereby present the full text of the story–
and only the text– but you may want
a box of crayons to draw pictures
and add understanding to the tale.
Either that or pay $47. 99
for the graphic novel.
********
********
The Morph
by
Frankie K
Once again, leaf blowers awoke Gregor Samsa.
But this time he was not angry because
he had been transformed into a cockroach
and rodents have no feelings.
The cleaning lady walked into his room
and sprayed him dead with a can of Raid.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
The next reference to Kafka appears here.
Mr. Oliverio originally submitted THE MORPH
to a New York Magazine "super-short story"
contest in ≈1977.
Today, it is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
____________________________________________________________________________________
The Institute of Inane Research determined
that 97% of people who are old enough
to read books do not read books
unless each page has
140 characters or less.
Stanley Lamont Streamline, Chief Executive Buffoon of the IIR,
has just published an uber-shortened
and mega-modernized edition of
the fabled Metamorphosis
by Franz Kafka.
What had been a 59-full page story with over 10,000 words
has been reduced to all of 46 words.
No page has more than twelve words but,
with illustrations, it is still a 59-page story.
Both the title and the author's name have been
"culturally compromised."
We hereby present the full text of the story–
and only the text– but you may want
a box of crayons to draw pictures
and add understanding to the tale.
Either that or pay $47. 99
for the graphic novel.
********
********
The Morph
by
Frankie K
Once again, leaf blowers awoke Gregor Samsa.
But this time he was not angry because
he had been transformed into a cockroach
and rodents have no feelings.
The cleaning lady walked into his room
and sprayed him dead with a can of Raid.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
The next reference to Kafka appears here.
Mr. Oliverio originally submitted THE MORPH
to a New York Magazine "super-short story"
contest in ≈1977.
Today, it is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
____________________________________________________________________________________
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