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The Institute of Inane Research determined
that 97% of people who are old enough
to read books do not read books
unless each page has
140 characters or less.
Stanley Lamont Streamline, Chief Executive Buffoon of the IIR,
has just published an uber-shortened
and mega-modernized edition of
the fabled Metamorphosis
by Franz Kafka.
What had been a 59-full page story with over 10,000 words
has been reduced to all of 46 words.
No page has more than twelve words but,
with illustrations, it is still a 59-page story.
Both the title and the author's name have been
"culturally compromised."
We hereby present the full text of the story–
and only the text– but you may want
a box of crayons to draw pictures
and add understanding to the tale.
Either that or pay $47. 99
for the graphic novel.
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The Morph
by
Frankie K
Once again, leaf blowers awoke Gregor Samsa.
But this time he was not angry because
he had been transformed into a cockroach
and rodents have no feelings.
The cleaning lady walked into his room
and sprayed him dead with a can of Raid.
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Footnotes
The next reference to Kafka appears here.
Mr. Oliverio originally submitted THE MORPH
to a New York Magazine "super-short story"
contest in ≈1977.
Today, it is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
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