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The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS...Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I think therefore I am troubled = RENEE DESCARTES<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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Friday, May 9, 2014

Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Toyless

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The American Journal Of Criminal Psychology has found a nearly perfect statistical correlation between children who were denied a toy they wanted when visiting a store with their parents and the later development of homicidal behavior. “We found that even after just one instance of being told ‘no’ in a toy store aisle, children may begin to exhibit their first violent impulses, which often later manifest as a compulsive need to kill others during adulthood,” said forensic psychologist Edgar Pruitt, whose study tracked the emergence of deviant, psychopathic traits...







© Onion News


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2 comments:

  1. Sounds like they are on to something. Wouldn't it be funny? Maybe not.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The many layers of ONION NEWS enable their multi-talented journalists
    to lay out dark truthisitics and get on to many somethings
    as long as there is a chuckle in there somewhere.

    For ONIONistas, Comedy & Tragedy are eternal bedmates
    in a bed balancing on the head of a pin.


    I eagerly await ONION's take on the death of Cornelius Gurlitt.

    Mr. Gurlitt began life by sitting on the knee of Herr Goring und
    Herr Hitler while his father explained to Herman & Adolf
    how to correctly pronounce the name Tolouse-Lautrec.

    Eighty-one years later, Mr. Gurlitt ended life
    owning more than one billion dollars
    worth of art that touched
    many Nazi hands.

    However, there has got to be
    some acidic Gurlitt humor superior
    to what you just read.

    The Gurli man died on May 6, 2014.

    ReplyDelete