[ Open on dark apartment, as couple enters and turns on the lights ]
why you didn't like the SALAD!
Richard: I told you, because
I hate pimentos!
[he picks up the TV Guide ]
Judi: So?
Richard: So I hate pimentos!
You know? Because you
don't know what they are!
I mean, what are pimentos?
They're red things you put
in olives and salads,
but what are they?
Actual things, you know?
Do they grow on farms?
Are there pimento farms? What?!
Judi: I don't think it's necessary to know if there are pimento farms
in order to eat salads that contain pimentos!
Richard: You know, I've never known you to interrogate me
about a garnish before.
Judi: Well, it's not just the garnish, okay? It's other things...
it's bigger things.
Richard: [ reading the TV Guide ] Let's see... Thursday at 10:30,
what have we got?
Judi: [ she sighs ] Okay! Avoiding the subject!
Building up a nice uncomfortable SILENCE, that'll be FUN!
Richard: Do you think anything good is on?
Judi: Is that your favorite sentence–"Is anything good on?"
Richard: NO! My favorite sentence is "Hello, hurt me!"
Judi: Oh, well, I guess this is going to be the part of the evening
where we watch TV and... you mouth the lines with them
on "The Honeymooners".
Richard: [ reading ] "Felix and Oscar get invited to a bowling tournament."
I saw that this afternoon! That was on this afternoon! I hate that! I hate when
they put on in the afternoon what they're gonna put on in the evening!
Judi: You hate it, but you'll watch it.
Richard: True. True. I'm into a LOT of things I hate!
The script continues here
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CREDITS
JUDI.....Laraine Newman
RICHARD.....Richard Dreyfuss
Segment Title.....Pet Peeves
Writer..... MARILYN SUZANNE MILLER
Original Broadcast.....May 13, 1978
Show.....SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Season 3
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